The Missing have been found.

Yes, I know you think we have been missing! We haven't moved, run-a-way, or even died, we have just been trying to find a path for our crazy life. Yes I said crazy life. Kelsey and I have had a busy summer, we finally took a vacation and went to florida for 10 days. Great fun with friends and great beaches. I will post some pictures later. Things are going good for us, Kelsey and I have been looking for an apartment to move to. Have talked with a realtor and going to put the house up for sale. The divorce paperwork is underway, (more to come later on that) and today is the 1st day of school. Hopefully things will start to slow down some now that school has started.

Things I want in life

The last few months I was given a chance to rethink alot of things in my life and I have started to make a list. So what better way to refer back to my list but to put it on the internet.

Things I want out of life.......
* to slow dance in the rain while being held tight, knowing it will never end.
* my headstone when I die to say "beloved wife and husband, a bond so strong and a love that never died"
* to be kissed as if I had never been kissed before.
* to sit on the patio swing and glaze at the stars in the arms of the one I love.
* to fall asleep in the arms of my lover
* to sleep under the same covers for the rest of my days on earth with the man I love.
* to wake up next to him with a smile knowing he is smiling also cause he is waking up next to me.
* to flirt with my eyes, know he understands I am flirting with him and flirts back.
* my heart to skip a beat when I see his name on my cell phone when he is calling me.
* the way he will go out of his way to open the car door for me.
* Special person to talk to.

Things I hate about life right now.....
* being alone
* knowing I am going to be alone the rest of my days
* no one to talk to
* my pending divorce

60 days

Today marks the 60 day mark that we went from 3 to 2. On one hand it has been the longest 60 days of my life and on the other hand the past 60 days have been the shortest. One thing I can say for me, is that I have found out a lot about who I am in the last 60 days. I think having time along has given me time to clear my head. I have learned to stand tall and speak proud of who I am and where I want to go. My future is still very unclear but each day a little more fog lifts and I am able to move a little more forward. I learned to stop hiding (or running) from things, face what is front of you with all you have and don't fear it. The lord will provide if you ask. I recently applied for a position with my company in a town 200 miles away. During the interview I was asked why do you want this position? I was speechless, nothing would come out of my mouth. My eyes began to water and after what seemed like forever to respond I simple said "I am truly sorry that I have wasted your time, the real reason for applying for this position was not clear until you just asked me that question. I would like to resend my request for this position." The look on his face was blank, I can only wonder about the look on mine. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. If I took this position I would be running from all my problems back at home. My daughter, my home, if there is anything left of my marriage, and my family. Running is not going to solve any of the problems only avoid them. After explaining a little more to the interviewer of why I wanted to resend and what hit me like a ton of bricks. He became very impressed with my honesty and tried to talk me out of resending my application. Simply indicated, I would let him know if I would change my mind by the end of the week but I was not going to change my mind. I am going home to see what that road has in store for me.

That's been a few weeks ago and I am honestly say that I am very proud I made the correct decision. I stopped hiding and started living. My problems are going to always be here but now I can face them with open eyes and start making changes. Over the last few weeks I have made new friends that I never dreamed I would make, I am learning how to dance and sing. Oh by the way I am now singing in church!!!! I never sang in church before. I started volunteering on Friday nights at the American Legion in the kitchen and am join a bowling team this weekend. All this along and with people I do not know and never met before.

Sure your wondering what about the rest of the family members, One I can not speak for because we have very little contact with each other. I dearly care for him and hope he is able to find peace with himself with his choices he has made. Please keep him in your prayers.
As for Kels, she is doing great. She will have her times, she said the other night she see's the changes in me and likes them. I am fun again she told me, "Mom don't go back to the way you were before, I like the new you". She is my life and would move the world for her. I will hold true to my promises made and make sure that I don't let her down in any way. I love you babe:)

Hug and kisses to all

PS... I forgot to say that I have lost 45 pounds and am feeling great. Want to lose about 30 more pounds. Let me see if I can post some recent pic's for you.

MartiGras Dance Feb 2009

Close up
view

Proof I sing

Proof I can dance!!!

3 - 1 = 2

3-1=2, no this is not math class it's what you get now at the Woodring house, thus the long pause in posting and blog updates.

I am sure as most of you all have heard by now the Woodring household is now down to two instead of three. One of our family members decided their future was unknown and has set off to find it. Now I wish I could say it was the teenager, that would be to easy to accept. Much to my surprise it's not.

Life give us unexpected turns and surprises when we least expect it and it's up to us to deiced how we are going to handle these turns and surprises. You see we often get so comfortable in our box that we forget the world around us. When we forget the world around us we forget ourselves. That is where I have been, I forgot who I was and where I was going. Over the last 40 plus days, I have come to know me in a different light. I have learned things about myself that I wish others would like to know. Now I am not saying that I am complete yet, that will never come. But I am confident that I can now move forward and not be left behind alone. My goal now in life to continue to find the rest of me I lost a long time ago, and restore it, so I can enjoy it again.

Raising a daughter has been a wonderful journey, but never dreamed it would become such a powerful experience over the last few months. Last year Kelsey wrote me a letter for mother's day, as a class project she was asked to write a letter to one of her friends and she choose me. Thinking this was great, she choose me over all her friends because I was special to her. Little did I know the words in this letter would become words I would soon come to live by.

Dear Mom,

Mom you have been there when I needed you. You help me when I need help even though you may not be able to, you still try the best you can. When we don't have enough money to do things, you still figure out something to do. Yesterday was my birthday, and you made it very special. Even when I had school you took a half day off so you can get things ready for that night. When I want things that I can't get, but I try in may ways, you always say you can't always have everything you want. There are so many wonderful things about you that you probably don't even know. One of those things is you trust me. I really do love everything about you. When I yell or get mad because I can't do something does't mean that I hate you or anything. It mean that I Love You and care about you. Mom your my best friend and I don't know what I would do without you. When you yell or get mad at dad for doing something wrong, you know I'm always there to back you up 100%. I love it when dad's gone because that let's us do anything we want and have a blast doing what ever we do. I know your not the smartest person in the world but really who is and I don't care if your are or not. I would and still love you forever. I know you brought me into this world in so much pain, and I thank you for going through that just so I can come into the world. I know that you will always be there to back me up and take a punch for me because you love me. I can't believe that you put up with my father and me with the way we treat you sometimes. Mom, thanks for doing everything you can for me, it shows me you care. Like I said before I don't know what I would do without you mom. There are so many things that you don't know that I want you to know but over the years I will tell you. The main thing is that I LOVE YOU no matter what happens. Thanks Mom.
Your Daughter

I hope you had to go get a tissue cause I did after typing this today. Keep in mind this was written a year ago by a 14 year old.

This to me is unconditional love, IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO IT'S BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.